


Corroded

by Killermanatee



Series: Gravity [2]
Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Adultery, Drinking, Established Relationship, F/M, Older Man/Younger Woman, Post-Endgame, casual hook-up, midlife-crisis, post relaunch novels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-03
Updated: 2018-10-03
Packaged: 2019-07-24 14:36:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16177097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Killermanatee/pseuds/Killermanatee
Summary: Chakotay contemplates a step in the wrong direction.





	Corroded

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Miss_Mil](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Mil/gifts).



> For Miss_Mil, who's been pushing me relentlessly to finish this fic. Thank you so much!

She is nothing like Kathryn.

Her features are round, her nose is just a little too crooked, her big eyes slightly too far apart, her lips are full, but not quite symmetrical. And yet she is undeniably attractive. As we talk about Federation policy, her dark eyes spark, brows rising as she gestures animatedly to emphasize her arguments. Her passion about the movement towards more autonomy for Federation members shines through her every statement.

The longer I listen, the more intrigued I am by our conversation, curious about her opinions and her outsider’s view. She is intense, well-educated and a breath of fresh air, I haven’t encountered in much too long. I don’t think she knows who I am, neither of us has asked for a name, but she has taken note of my uniform, which prompted the start of our conversation. She isn’t impressed by who I am or intimidated by my rank, and instead openly tells me all the reasons she is opposed to Starfleet and its agenda.

She says nothing to gain my approval, but doesn’t contradict me without reason. As our discussion progresses, we have moved closer and closer to each other at the bar and I have stopped paying attention to how many drinks we have ordered, because I can’t recall the last time I felt so alive.

From her looks and what she has shared about herself I would estimate her to be somewhere around thirty. But I won’t ask. Because she is most definitely too young. She is so damn young and attractive, engaging, passionate and in no way someone who should be having drinks with a married man well into his sixties.

I want to blame my drifting thoughts on the whiskey, but I haven’t had nearly enough to be able to. Her blonde hair falls over her shoulder and draws my attention to the lines of her collarbones. When she leans towards me, her shirt drapes just the right way to allow me a good view of the valley between her breasts. Decency demands that I look away, but instead I wonder if her nipples are as pink as her lips. 

My uniform feels hot when I force myself to look back up. She smiles at me, and I know I have been caught, but I can’t seem to care. She makes no attempt to deny me the sight of her cleavage, instead asks if I have any further plans tonight or if there is somewhere I need to be. I know exactly what the question implies, and find myself captivated by her lips and how they part to reveal her tongue. A vision of that tongue circling the tip of my cock sparks through me, causing me to shift in my chair.

Her hand on my arm stops me in my tracks and I raise my eyes to hers, see her dilated pupils.

She comes even closer, her fingers burning through the fabric and I can smell the bourbon on her breath, heavy and sweet. Her cheeks are flushed and one questioning foot comes to rest on the bottom of my bar stool, between my legs.

I know what I should do, what I should say. Somewhere that better version of me is politely pushing her away, telling her that it has been a lovely evening but that it is not going to lead to anything else.

But I am not that better version.

I am the version who today of all days left his wedding ring upstairs in the guest suite.

When she asks if I want to join her for a nightcap in her room, I shove all restraints aside, ignore how blatantly obvious the suggestion is, considering the way her thigh presses against mine, how her eyes rake over me. Her open affection flatters me, strikes something dark and chauvinistic inside me.

I offer an elbow for her to lean on, and as we walk away from the bar I have to adjust to her height, as her shoulders are almost level with mine. She leans into me while her hands are on my arm, and when the doors of the lift close behind us she turns to stand right in front of me, her eyes roaming my face until they land on my lips.

Before the loud thrum of my heart can stop me, I kiss her.

Her hands run over my uniform, tugging at it, clearly unaware of the closures and layers.

She may not know how to undress a Starfleet admiral, but she certainly knows how to kiss. Her tongue is demanding, a little rough, making quick work of my mouth, licking my jaw. I want her to slow down, but don’t know how, instead I moan and hum and try my best to compete with her vigor.

We are busy touching each other, so we stumble into her room and I have no idea what it looks like, if it looks like mine, if there are any of her belongings. Mostly I really don’t care.

I press her against a wall, shoving a thigh between hers and she rubs herself against me, hot and unabashedly. She keeps moving, pressing her torso against mine, flexing her legs and I try to get her to just stay still, crave the slow discovery of her body. I want to lick her throat, nuzzle the spot behind her ear, give us the chance to build up the arousal.

Instead she pushes off the wall and I don’t quite know where to place my hands as she steps back, biting her lower lip. She grips the hem of her shirt and with a swift motion pulls it over her head, stepping further towards the bed. Before I can say anything about how much I’d like to undress her, she has pushed down her pants, the tight fabric revealing tanned legs and a scrap of deep green satin, barely covering her sex, its color matching that of her bra. As I watch her muscles move under her skin, my hands hang uselessly at my sides, fists closing and opening.

She gets rid of her sandals and pants, coming back up to sit on the bed. She reclines and my brain almost shuts down at the sight of her wide hips leading up to her tight stomach and further to her breasts almost spilling over. I want her. I want to taste her and feel her cunt gripping my cock. I want to see her control crack open and hear her cry out in ecstasy.

I climb onto the bed, feeling heavy and slow between her legs, but I do my best to push those feelings down and instead raise her leg to my lips and kiss her ankle. I run my fingers along the lines of her calf, feeling the muscles tense under my touch.

Then she grasps my fingers and pulls me up so I come to rest above her, cradled by her thighs. We kiss again, a little sloppy, lacking the determination I crave. She rubs herself against the growing bulge of my erection and mews into my mouth, a sound that’s impatient and goes straight to my cock.

The uniform feels too heavy and tight and chafes along my neck, but she hasn’t tried undressing me and I am not quite sure how to go about it without ruining the moment. So instead I free myself from her embrace until I am at her side with her spread out like a feast in front of me. She throws her head back when I pull down her bra and kiss one breast while massaging the other, and then she pushes my hand from her nipple down between her legs.

She rubs herself using my fingers and feeling her wetness should drive me wild, knowing that I have made her this wanton should stroke my ego but instead I am too busy trying to find my footing, to figure out what she wants. I push the fabric aside, just enough to run a finger along her labia.

I have always loved this moment, the rush of getting to feel a woman’s sex for the first time, discovering everything that makes her unique, working out the best way to stimulate her. But it has been a long time since I’ve done this and I feel clumsy. My fingertips anticipate familiar textures instead of exploring the new. I keep my eyes on her face, her full lips, her long blonde hair fanned out on the pillow. She is unfamiliar and exciting and I don’t fully understand why I have to actively tell myself that she is.

She guides my touch to her slick channel, moans and urges me to keep going, so I gently push a finger into her. Again, she takes charge, moves her hips against me while she rubs her clit and I am left just staring at her as she uses my hand to get herself off. Her back arches and a high-pitched wail leaves her lips.

Before I get a chance to make her come again on my own terms, she pushes me onto my back and unceremoniously tosses away her bra. Her breasts sway as she straddles my body and comes to rest on my thighs, just south of my erection. I feel sweaty, trapped by all the layers of fabric and finally manage to unzip the jacket. Just as my hands are free to touch her, she slides down my body, strong and determined fingers running over my chest, down to my stomach and I try to suck it in. The breath gets caught in my throat when she stops on her knees between my legs and cups the bulge at my crotch. As she begins massaging my cock, my eyes fall shut. 

I am dimly aware of her fingers… _long and elegant…_ finding their way to my zipper and snaking into my underwear … _trusting her knowledge of my body_ … I curse loudly when a fist is firmly wrapped around me and then hot lips … _lips I dreamt of kissing for years…_ swallow the tip of my cock. The wet mouth sends sharp stings up my body, makes me gasp in pleasant shock… _How long has it been?_

My fingers wind into her hair _… auburn wisps framing her face…_ while I focus on the sensation of teasing fingers … _one of them adorned with a simple wedding band_ … and in my mind’s eye I see _her freckles brought out by the late summer sunshine in our garden._

My eyes snap open, to blonde waves and tanned skin and _what am I doing?_

“Stop,” I push at her shoulders “Please stop.”

She looks up with a quizzical expression. “What’s wrong?”

The bile is rising in my throat and I scoot up, tucking my softening cock back in. She is sitting back on her haunches, almost entirely nude except for the visibly soaked underwear, her chest is flushed, her nipples two tight peaks. But as I look at her, really look at her, I realize that while she may be beautiful and attractive and even interesting, what I am looking for isn’t there.

“I am sorry,” I say and rub my face, “but I can’t do this.”

The confusion on her features slowly turns into hurt and I know I should assure her that this has nothing to do with her, that she hasn’t done anything wrong, but I just want to leave.

Because the sight of her is twisting my insides.

So I zip up my jacket and don’t wait for her reaction before I am on my way to the door, running away, like the coward I am.

 

\---

 

The guest suite is cool and almost painfully sterile. I open a window and take a few deep breaths of unfamiliar air, trying to calm my pulse. My palms are sweaty and I tear off my damp clothes as I walk into the bathroom, tossing the items to the floor.

Beside the sink, next to my toothbrush, sits my wedding ring. Such a small metal band, a little dulled by the years and yet the light catches it just right to reflect the engraving on its inside.

_Kathryn._

My reflection in the mirror shatters with loud crunch when my fist hits it.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Not sure if this was the sequel people were hoping for ;) 
> 
> A round of big thanks is in order:  
> First to [LittleObsessions](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleObsessions/pseuds/LittleObsessions) for being a wonderful beta despite her busy life.  
> Second to [ElizabethJaneway1158](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElizabethJaneway1158/pseuds/ElizabethJaneway1158) for having a look at it. 
> 
> Last but certainly not least to my writing partner in crime [BlackVelvet42](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackVelvet42) who always provides all the support a girl could ask for. 
> 
> Also big thanks to everyone who has commented and left kudos! It really helps so much to keep me motivated!


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